Category: Blog

Be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart ... Try to love the questions themselves ... Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing … Continue reading By Rainer Maria Rilke

George started treatment today with his first lumbar puncture of this phase. Normal chemo for the next 4 days. Leukaemic cell count after first phase was 2% - which is good. George says he is technically 'in remission' (under 5%) - now to get rid of it completely........

Well… We got up early and trundled up to Tooting, I gave some blood (exciting to be in daycare: it’s much more populated than isolation…) and had my dressing changed, and then waited for the results. And, to everyone’s complete surprise, my counts are up, high enough for Phase 2! The doctors were surprised, the … Continue reading Are you in? Or are you out?

I'm not sure whether to hope that my white blood cell count is high enough tomorrow or not: on the one hand, it would be lovely if it wasn't, and I could come home again for another few days / week, but then on the other hand I'll still need to get this four weeks … Continue reading What I’m hoping…

I just went for a lovely lovely walk down by the beach. It wasn't very long, as I'm pretty pathetic, and now I'm exhausted, but it was so nice: the sun set while we were there, and though it was cold the crisp air was so refreshing. The tide was out, but the colours were … Continue reading Ah, the sea

I was thinking about suffering, and the fact that I don't want people to worry that I am in pain, because I'm generally not, and in fact if you're sitting there with a headache, then actually I might be more comfortable here right at the moment, even if your body is likely to be in … Continue reading The individuality of pain

I hope you didn't miss this post, as it deserves more attention... Particularly as I've posted lots of stuff recently, little of which has been of amusement!The tale of the 'Argh Peterty'.

Tomorrow is my last day of steroids, and I won't be getting much (their dosage has been scaled back each day since Monday). I wonder whether I'm missing a bit of the boost they were probably giving me, as I have felt more worn in some ways. I don't seem to be losing my appetite, … Continue reading Steroids

...feel things properly with my hands. The peripheral neuropathy is getting boring now: apart from pins and needles in the end of my fingers and thumbs (and now it tingles a lot all the time, and has spread further down my fingers and sometimes tingles in the palms too), it feels as though it's stiffened … Continue reading Oh, it would be nice to…

I think that explaining some of the reasons why I haven't posted about religion/faith/God might be a good start to actually doing so now. Naturally if you don't want to hear it, look away now!I doubt many of you will ever have heard me talk much about my faith, in fact, because it's always been … Continue reading Why I’ve been quiet on religion…